Dad:
I'm sorry that I've disappointed you time and again.
I've been unfilial and totally selfish.
When I'm wrong, you forgave me.
Yet when you did something wrong, I yelled and complained a whole lot, totally unnecessary.
I keep asking why you do not practise what you preach, about why you even bother calling yourself a Christian.
Now, looking back, it was I who have been wrong.
I've been looking at the speck of dust in your eyes while ignoring the plank of wood in mine.
I complained that you did not know me Dad, that you did not care.
What I failed to see, is the struggles you face in work, the humiliation you have to go through just to feed us all.
It was me who was selfish, who wasted your money on needless handphone bills.
You did what you could for me.
As for me?
What have I done in return?
You bought the latest DVDs that you knew I'd love, gave me a new handphone, allowed me to negotiate with you.
You practically opened yourself to me, yet, i shun you.
I'm tearing as i type this, for I've woken up to realise, how selfish and self-centered I have been.
All you asked for was a pass in my subjects, nothing else.
Yet, I gave you the opposite.
I failed all of them safe for my English.
I claimed that you did not know me, that you did not ask about my aims and ambitions.
I guess its me who hasn't been opening up to you.
You've always been around, but I'm always out.
Mum:
I've been the worst brat ever haven't I?
I hardly do my chores at home unless if u ask me to.
Although you weren't there for me everytime, your love has shone through.
Indeed I am thankful for you.
You gave up a life that could've been filled with adventure and fame or even,power.
Yet you gave it all for us when you chose to marry Dad and settle down in Singapore.
You're talented beyond many from where you come from, in the rural town in Thailand.
I really wonder, will I still be who I am without you?
You treated me like an adult, engaged me in meaningful conversations and even humbled yourself so much as to have to request for me to help you.
Wow.
What a filial son I've been.
ALl I can say Mum, is that I'm sorry.
Thank you for all the times you've stood by me, for protecting me.
Dad & Mum:
Sorry for all the heartaches that I've given you.
I remember the fights that you have to get involved in because of me.
I've ashamed you by being a rebel when I was younger.
My pierce ear, running away, vulgarities and disrespect.
Compared to others, I was not THAT bad I guess, but the pain and shame you had to bear, that I can never repair.
All I wish to say, is that I love you both.
Very much.
I thank God for having allowed me to be born into this special household and allowing us to have gone through so much together.
Love,
Your beloved Son for this short lifetime on Earth,
Jason
29.5.04
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