An angel amongst angels, Shi Min.
On broken wings you came, bringing joy into our lifes.
You cast aside your woes and troubles, and attended to our needs.
No one knew the you inside, for you kept your worries to yourself.
When satan came and showed his hand, you made the choice and heeded his plan.
Now you're gone with no tale to tell, no scar to show of the battles against hell.
Gone forever in the fiery lake, gone forever... leaving tears, in your wake.
For those who do not know her, Shi Min, was a former classmate of mine. We were in the same class, 3B year 2002, which would be the year before I retained and repeated my sec 3 education.
Though we weren't close, I do recall the times that we've shared, not as a couple, but as friends. We used to play volleyball together and hang around and crap...our sitting positions were at the back too, so we kinda did the same things during lesson time...which would be sleeping of course.
I still recall the pair of blue tinted shades she gave to me. It was after our class chalet and we were heading home in the same bus. She passed me her shades and asked me to try them on. Complimenting that it looked good on me, she told me to keep it and got off the bus at her stop. Now, would you do that to someone who is your friend but yet at the same time, ain't that close to you? I wonder...with her gone now, the existence of such souls are becoming a real gem...
At 12+ today, i received a call from my best friend, Terence. Told me that Shi Min is gone...thought it was a joke and scolded him..turned out it was no joke...she was gone for good...he wasn't able to tell me much, so with wad little i knew, i reflected on it, but still, i wasn't too affected...yet...all i knew at that time was tat she probably took an overdose of pills, but i din noe the reason why...knew tat it happened at ard 11pm, at the time wen i was still in town, having a good time with my friends...damn...had i known...
At abt 6, when i was in tampines, received a call from Amanda, a friend of mine who was close to her, and who was also in the same school as Shi Min, NYP.Wen to meet her...got the full story...it was in the Chinese papers too, with her name and school printed out for the whole world to see...
This is a brief summary of what happened...
Shi Min applied for a bond with KK Hospital so that she will not have to pay for her school fees as she does not come from a well to do family, in fact, they won't be able to pay for her fees i'd say...she's under Nursing,and has a lot of pressure on her as she can't afford to fail anything. Also, the person who is responsible if anything happens, like eg. she breaks the bond or what not, is not her parents, but rather, a relative i think, making matters worse.
Recently she has been complaining that she can't cope and that wad her friends are able to understand, she has not the slightest inkling about what is going on. I guess the final blow came yesterday, when she can take it no more. Jumping off from the 11/12 storey of her block at abt 8 pm, she committed suicide, ending her life there and then. Police found a stool near the lift landing. From the autopsy, it was deduced that she probably had a heart attack in mid air and died before landing.
I do not know what went on in her mind, for she was after all, a Christian. Knowing the consequences, why did she do it? Its a question nobody can answer now. I used to think tat those who committed suicide were selfish, stupid, and heartless individuals. Now that i now of someone close to me who did it, i am at a lost for words...how can one so cheerful, so loving, so innocent do such a thing? I guess she doesn't know the burden she has left behind, and she will never know now.
To you, reader, please remember this. When you decide to end your life, you are simply giving up on yourself, on the life God gave to you. Your loved ones have to do the cleaning up for you and then, think of all the pain, disappointment, humiliation they have to face? Everyone around you will be affected, not just your close friends. I have a friend in fact, who went mad because he had to go through the trauma of having lost 2 friends who committed suicide. The emotional trauma, is a scar that will never heal.
When one commits suicide, their hands are handcuffed. Also, their body will be placed in a casket that will have to be closed.The reason is obvious isn't it. Thus, thats wad happened to my friend. Her body was taken away in cuffs n laid in a closed casket. The crematation was today, at abt 2 as there was an impromptu service...didn't know about it thus i was not able to go...
Everything happened so fast...she's gone, just like this, with the wind...and we all know where she's heading...it feels like i could've done something but i didn't...which is partly true...had i kept in contact with her, i could've contacted my cousin, who was in her shoes once, and ask her to help Shi Min out...
Yet now its too late...just too late...
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