Finding peace again.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

She's gone for good now...i can't believe it...ppl in my class can be so freaking insensitive...you know who you are...but vengence and revenge is not mine...its God's...Mdm Lau took me out of class to speak to me for awhile...damn...but still...i managed to control myself...she knows how i feel...so it isn't too bad...din shed any tears...din do anything rash either...thank God.
Was allowed to skip math self-study...Alan, Chit Yong, Amos and me went down to the site where she jumped...Lester joined us too...took quite a while to find the spot...and if not for the police tape that was used to cordon off part of the area, we would have mistaken another area just next to it. Saw the blood stain on the floor, the burnt joss sticks,paper and candles. Heart was overwhelmed with emotions...but yet, still din feel the lost yet...Lester came...saw he from the 2nd floor...then he disappeared...for awhile we tot we saw a ghost...but thank goodness it was him...prayed for a short while, had a moment of silence and then we went off to have lunch...
Went to visit the supposedly haunted Punngol House...it was so close to where my friend died...like a background placed on purpose...1st attempt to go into the area was useless...too many obstacles...Alan n Lester's shoes were wrecked by the mud, with Alan nearly losing his shoe...guess its coz they din test the ground before walking...so showed to them how its done...all of us were feeling high i guess...trekked on...found another way by accident while we were on the way to Punngol station...so i led them there...there was a lane of water tat we had to cross...since they din wanna risk falling in, i crossed it n walked towards the accursed building...felt my hair on my hand and neck standing immediately wen i approached it...felt wrong...somehow...turned back and noticed that Lester's face was pale...i mean...he is fair alright...but this time, it was real white, blood drained from his face and he seemed dumbfounded...din listen to the voice in my head to turn back so i took a few more steps forward...Alan shouted my name, and i turned back...ignored them and faced the building again...tt was wen i saw something...wad ever it was...it was staring right at me...at 1st i thought it was a piece of wood...then i realised its a man's bald head with his arms around the top...ran back to them immediately...all of us cleared the place and only when we reached the station did we talk about it...Lester saw two of them...one was a man, on the roof which jumped down the moment i approached...the other was a lady, dressed like a servant, on the stairs. Seems like they suddenly appeared when i approached, just after i turned back for the 1st time...then wen i turned back the 2nd time, Lester said that the man was waiting for me to come back...had i not returned, who knows what might have happened...but then...after sharing the incident to my parents, i realised i had been silly...i am after all a Christian. I guess its the fear of the unknown tat spooked me...coz...it doesn't happen to me so often....if it does,at least i'll be prepared now...i'm juz worried for Lester...i know you're reading this bro...take care yah?
Met Susan and Brian at TM for dinner...told them wad happened while we ate at Pastamania...found out tat Brian too knows how i feel...his lost, was far greater than mine...he lost his grandmother recently...but its not tat which saddened me...its the fact tat he lost a whole bunch of close friends...apparantly, it was some dumb car racing tat started because another car challenged the driver tat his friends were in...the driver din make the turn, and thus the car flipped...no one got out in time and the car exploded into flames...disintergrating them...
Its so unfair...they didn't deserve it...just like Shi Min...everyday there's so much to look forward to, new things to experience, old and even maybe lame stuff to laugh about...now they're gone...i pray that to those who're reading this, you'll cherish those that are still around you...i'm not asking you to like make peace with your enemies...but...juz treasure those around you...you'll never know when they'll be gone....and promise me this people...never, NEVER give up on yourself. Your life belongs to God. Your parents will be the ones who have to clear up the mess you leave behind when you're gone. Think about it, they've gone through so much to bring you up, and this is how you're gonna repay them? Please spare a thought for the innocent people who'll be affected...k? Do not think that its all about you...your life, is very much, a part of mine too.

May the Lord remain with you all as you walk day by day through trials and tribulations. May His angels watch after you. Satan may be powerful, but he is still outnumbered 2:1, and still has to seek God's permission. NEVER fear the devil, for even he fears God.



4:51 PM

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Jason Tan. Male. A true-blue Singaporean. Oldest son. 07.12.1987. Thai-Chinese.

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