Finding peace again.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

I've got no comments...i mean...spent close to an hour typing the day b4...and its all gone...wun curse and swear...just that...i'm dismayed...cause i did pour my feelings into it...well...shall add some parts to today's blog...


Woke up at ard 6.30...alarm clock followed by Mr Albert Ching's calls...thank you Sir! ( He's a BB officer. )
Ate a lil, showered and rushed out...wasn't really late...so here goes abt the service...

Some songs were so emotional and meaningful to me, i felt tears welling up...couldn't cry...i won't...after so much that has happened...i shan't.
Yet...although i din shed any tears at that moment, i felt God coming back once again...to heal the wounds in my life, as i reflect on the events that happened...words seem to link directly to what i'm facing...thus...the sudden overwhelming sensation of closeness with Him...

Sermon was from the "Iron Man", an ex-convict who escaped the death penalty as he was juz 2 weeks shy of his 18th b'day. He was sentenced though, to 15 yrs imprisonment.
He was condemned by Society, the Court and himself. During his stay in prison, his mother constantly visited him...out of all her sons and daughters, she chose to care for the one who sinned, juz like how Christ did in His lifetime...
He rejected her often, not wanting to see anyone cry in front of him for he was the "Iron Man" , chief of a notorious gang during the Colonial periods. Yet, when his mum was dying, and all he wanted to do was to hold her hand and say," I love you", he couldn't. Not that he din want to...but he wasn't allowed to.
His mother lay on her death bed, eyes wide open, her lips calling out for him, until her very last breath. To be rejected is one thing, but to be rejected by someone you care for, is another.

Left church after meeting Lester. Headed down to town with him, BJ, Charles, Maximus, Joshua and Joycelynn. Lester left halfway to go to town.
I don't know what was the plan after that as i was supposed to go out with him...was rather surprise that he left like that...so...dun wish to comment anymore...shall let the matter rest.

They wanted to watch Shutter...so met Kyna and Lala at Heeren...wahhaaz...all walked in the rain...to Heeren to meet em then Cine...no tix i think...or too late? SO...walked down to Lido...tiring siaz...plus it was pouring...bought the tix at Lido...Joyce paid for me 1st as i was broke...coz...paid for camp fee today...ate Subway...$10.30 for a foot long meal...ate half of it, a cookie and drank a lil coke...went to the toilet, came back...
DAMN!!!
Realised tt the table was empty...thank goodness i din leave my hp there...as in...my frenz were there...but the trays were cleared...i mean...i have half a foot of food (IRONIC?!) , a peanut butter cookie and a full cup of vanilla coke left! The cleaner looks pretty...mentally unstable...so...shan't pursue anymore...juz tt...i'm left broke and hungry...

Walked ard for 1hr+...was at Far East...saw the shop i wanted to work at again...lolz...think the gal recognized me and took a 2nd look wen i went to the opp shop with my frenz...oppz...but i was pretty dao...din say hi to her...ah well...din noe her name mahz...

Shutter was...interesting...but...watch it on a weekday lahz...haha...a few cliche stuff...but...full of creepy shit and damn the sound effects! Zzz...or maybe coz the theater room i was in is kinda small? Lolz...Lido...ah well...

Went to Paragon...wanted to see steph's frenz perform...think its either too late or the rain din allow them to...they grabbed a bite...slacked awhile...then walked down to Dhoby Gaut...saw my dad in the NEL control room again...hehe...headed home...waited for Josh's mum to pick him up...din wanna take a lift...need the walk home alone...
Just...to be alone...

In my previous entry which was deleted or not published...i kinda mentioned that i wanted to be alone too...for now...so if i appear quiet at times...you should know why right?
Please try to understand...

To my friends who've been there, especially at the party, helping me out, making my life a lil more happening then wad it is, thank you.
Without you all, i will never be able to come this far, to be who i am today. I shan't mention names, but everyone of you, deserve this lil thank you insert.

Domo Arigato Gozaimasu.

Kim, i'm not sure if you, or anyone you know will be reading this.
I really pray, that you'll be strong, and walk out unfazed, to be strengthened by God, and God alone.
Shall hope to hear from you soon, alright?

Jya Ne.



11:37 PM

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Jason Tan. Male. A true-blue Singaporean. Oldest son. 07.12.1987. Thai-Chinese.

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