Finding peace again.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 its Yee Ping...i DID say that i wasn't sure riiite?
Cryssie...whey...ask me go die...i'm only daoing u via sms wad...


Din go for service...too tired le lah...haha...was totally distracted during YZ worship...its many things not ready...i know how Xiong Hai feels man...mics not working, PA not set up, lyrics for worship not ready to be screened...on and on...

Though i wasn't involved, i helped out, making it seem like it was my fault as i had to keep walking ard...plugging the problems when i could...OH...and the offering bag too...gosh...if only i was back in logistics.
I'm in some leadership development com. Its only me and Zhi Qiang running it and so far, i haven't even done ANYTHING. I feel like some useless warrior put in charge of the food supply. I this how i'm supposed to serve?

Lord...i've sinned. But i seriously need directions...i haven't really thought about all juz came out all of a sudden once i started typing...pray for me my walk is no longer strong. I'm stable of course...but i'm growing...weaker?
Haven't had BS for 3 mths, din do QT least 2 weeks, and the Christians i know around me are stumbling as well...if not, they're pretty let them know of my problems, will probably open up more doubts.

Where's my mentor when i need him. Busy. I'm being self-centered i guess...but...i've been giving and giving...i simply need smth or SOMEONE to be there for me spiritually.
Sorry...its my bear with it...and pray for me.

Back to Sunday. Didn't go for commitee training. Half of us didn't turn up. For me its pure defiance. I can't stand it. If they can't practise what they preach, i refuse to comply with their teachings. Anyway...went for lunch with Cryssie, Jean, Char and cartel at Cine...crazy galz...thanks cryssie for the chocolate!
OH...and Jean too for the Hunter x Hunter blog-time, i've finished 8 discs...after sending them off, went to Bistro's to meet Jocelyn, Kyna and Serene.

I HATE that place. Read my book till the last chapter b4 leaving with Jocelyn to my work place as she was working while i was introducing my fren to work there... Waited for Karthi for 2 i became free labour. Haha...helped to fold napkins, set tables, cut bread and small stuff tt can be done without a uniform. Finally he came and then i rushed off to meet Sze Min in town for pool with her 2 frenz.
I was about to enter the place when the 2 of em walked past ( i din know them at tt time) and said, "This must be Jason!" and when i turned they laughed...haha...guess i'm easy to spot...anyway...played a game and then headed home with them...darn tired...

Monday was spend mostly at home and watching the anime series tt Jean lent me...hehe...
Slept from 7am-2pm...haha...then ate only one meal...massive bowl of cornflakes with milk and chocolate chunks which i broke and added inside...sinful man...super full lah...wanted to puke. Was bathing when i smelt something familiar. The smell of burning wood like as if i was back in Thailand again.

Heard sirens, but they sounded like those of police cars so i din bother much. Rushed to my balcony wen i was done bathing to check out my surroundings and saw smoke rising up from the open field...
When i was ready for work, went to see the was like some scene from a movie or news report...boarded a bus and then headed down for work...ttz abt was smoooth...nth tmw followed by short gathering b4 a function at night...function for work of course...meaning its easy work...haha...ttz all for now.

Jason. Out.

12:25 AM


Jason Tan. Male. A true-blue Singaporean. Oldest son. 07.12.1987. Thai-Chinese.



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