True...i do not know what his condition is yet...but its the endless waiting...and unknown that drives me crazy...i didn't wish to be paranoid...thinking tt its just some infection that can be cured...but what if it can't?
What if its something so vile that i'll lose him...i just want to know what it is that is causing my father so much pain...its depriving him of sleep...its been going on for so long...every time he goes back for a check up, the whole family can only watch on as he suffers and waits for the review...which till now, hasn't been anything affirmative...
It started since before the Chinese New Year celebrations...how can one enjoy the festivities knowing that your loved one is at a loss of whats going on?
True...i do manage to escape time to time from the clutches of whatever it is thats causing me to be affected...still...it is but a mask...one that hides what i really wish to say and show...
Dad...I love you...
You don't know how much yet it doesn't matter...
Call me ego-istic...i have my pride...
But if i can, if i can give you my bladder, or any organ that can allow you to live on longer, I'd gladly do so...
Of course...i'm not saying that you'll need it...i hope you won't...
This must have been how God felt when He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for us sinners...
He would've done anything He could to trade places with His Son to relief Him of His pain...
His son died for us that we may be washed in His pure blood...that we may be cleansed and thus be able to walk thru the gates of heaven...
I've spoke to my dad before...at least we're prepared for the worst...its just the suffering that i can't bear to see...
Am trying to do what i can to show that i'm here for you dad...leaving my room door open...smth that i seldom do...sms-ing you ever so often now...
If only you would stumble upon my blog one day...
Please don't say that you're weak...for if you were, how would you have been able to support our family thru the period of crisis when you were retrenched?
Though we were poor, you managed to support not only us, but our family in Thailand as well as my grandparents...these are not responsibilities you had to take upon yourself all alone...but u did so...and without bitterness nor complains...
If only i could be like you dad...you're my strength.
I believe in prayers. I'll keep on praying.
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