You and me,
a little different
though we tried to stay the same
It never leaves and when it changes
it is still a waiting game
I wait for a lonely breath
I wait to surface from this depth
I wait for the light to comeand take away these images I've kept
In my head
More than ever, I need to feel you
More than ever, I see the real you
You and me, our worst disaster would be waking up alone
Now we're free, drifting out like all the ones we didn't knowI wait for silence here
I wait for things to disappearI wait for the ground to stop moving underneath my only fear
If I lose you I don't know
More than ever, I need to feel you
It's all around
More than ever, I see the real you
And it surrounds
Everything, everything we have had
Out of sight, out of mind
Given that what I see when I dream hurts like hell and back
More than ever, I need to feel you
It's all around
More than ever, I see the real you
And it surrounds
More than ever, I need to feel you
It's all around
More than ever, I see the real you
And it surrounds
A lil song...with a lovely title...
Whats going now?
I'm not too sure either.
I've made so many mistakes, one after another ever since school started. I've lost my focus, and I'm plunging straight into something I'm not really prepared for as a result.
My commitments...they're everywhere...why do I take them up?
Passion.
Something that Hui Jing sent to me, before I was to see Mr Raymond Teo, Deputy Director of Temasek Polytechnic SAA, to appeal for my TPSU election status.
She told me this,
"You prepared to answer his qns if he asks you why you wanna run?
Don't just say passion, he'll shoot back, sometimes, passion is not enough. What if you end up failing?It'll be that passion that caused your downfall. And you'll end up hating that passion."
I'm not hating my passion...am I?
I'm feeling the consequences...
I've disappointed so many people, including myself.
I hate who I am now.
Irresponsible.
Flirt.
Jerk.
Loser.
Hypocrite.
Two-faced.
Back-stabber.
Liar.
Two-timer.
The list goes on.
What can I say?
I really wish to challenge those who have been bad mouthing me though.
Have the guts and confront me face to face.
Nobody really knows what I go through, or who I really am.
Those who do, I can count with my fingers.
Jocelyn and Yi En, my dear Sisters-in-Christ who've been there for me and listening to me when I'm down.
There are a couple more of course.
My beloved Pacesetters, Rahayu, Hui Jing, Yasmeen, Ming Xian and Jia Min who've been helping me out so much.
I know most people would love to gossip that the names mentioned are girls...
I won't deny that.
I do have my male buddies.
Terence, Kai, Vincent, Fagan, Lance.
Of course there are also more that I can relate to.
But hey, can all these guys really know what I'm going through and give me an answer when it comes to relationship problems? Not really. Guys and girls think differently, and of course, different view points and levels of maturity.
I'm ranting on and on.
I've been messing up my life. And the lives of others.
When shit hits the fan, its get bad. Real bad.
Thats how life is for me.
There are so many things I've missed out on, so many "IFs" and "BUTs".
If I had woken up earlier,
If I had not been so tired,
If I had been more focus,
If I had been less fickle,
If I had been more hard-working,
If... ...
My Ifs can go on and on.
Many have asked why I take up so many things, adding more load to myself.
Passion.
Let if break me and fall me.
I've found something that comes with it.
Love.
When you love something that you do,
When you love someone,
When you love,
Anything is possible.
Love surpasses all understanding, especially the love of God.
The love my parents pour on me, even though I've been a pest and I don't deserve their care and concern.
The love that I know I have for one person.
When you find that love, anything is possible.
So what if shit hits the fan?
With love I'll clean it up.
Its been more than 2 months.
To be exact,
Its been 12 weeks.
Ever since I knew you on the 16th of April.
1st mth-Crush.
2nd mth-Like.
3rd mth-Love.
I can't promise much.
What I can promise is that, if we were to be together, my goal would be marriage, if not why get together?
To feel good and all lovey-dovey?
No.
Not for me
Of course, I'm not asking you to be mine.
I know you're not ready.
I just wish to let you know that I'm in love with you.
Done so many dumb things.
Why?
Love makes one crazy.
Agape Love
Thats the unconditional love God has for Man.
I can't give you that. But I'll promise to do my best.
Here goes...I'm taking a really big leap...nothing historical...but still the same...meaningful in every way to me.
I love you Jacqueline
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